Many parents find themselves in a situation where their child doesn’t want to go to school and asks to stay home. Let’s look at some recommendations to help you understand the reasons for this behavior.
Trying to avoid school by any means necessary. Pretending to be sick, crying, refusing to take off her pajamas are very typical for elementary school children. Often this is just a small step back in children’s natural desire for independence. But sometimes this behavior is still a major concern for parents. Regardless of any possible causes, there are many ways to deal with the problem and achieve the cherished goal of getting your child back to school with enjoyment.
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Try to find out what your child is so afraid of
From an adult’s point of view, going to kindergarten or junior high school is easy and fun. In reality, school is hard work for children! Following certain rules and learning new skills takes a lot of energy and effort from the child. And finally, the long-awaited winter vacations are coming, when the child can play for a long time, eat his favorite food and cuddle with his parents all morning. But even staying home because of illness, children will always find something more entertaining than lessons at school. Now you can see why your child prefers to stay home rather than go to school, where they will have to work hard.
Another fact to consider is that from the age of 5 years, children have a dramatic increase in anxiety due to the understanding that adults are not all-powerful. No matter how stable children’s lives are, they can always have fears about death, trauma, or their parents leaving the family. Especially if they have seen something scary on the news. At school, a child may worry that something bad will happen to their parents or themselves, at which point they will not be together to protect each other from danger. As a rule, children at this age enjoy a new sense of independence but are also afraid of it at the same time.
Minimize home entertainment
Sometimes children don’t want to go to school simply because they are better off at home. In other words, they want to stay home because they are bored at school! So when your child complains of a headache in the morning, find out if this is the case. If there is no fever, vomiting, or other serious symptoms, try to send your child to school after all. You can say, “Let’s just try. I can always come to get you.” If you manage to get your child out the door, consider that half the battle has already been won. On those days when your sick child stays home, you must of course take care of him. But watching TV and eating candy will have to be forbidden. When children realize that they won’t be able to entertain themselves all day during their illness, they may want to go back to school sooner.
Get to the bottom of the situation
Your child may be concerned about something specific. From a ride on the school bus to actual tyrants in the classroom. But sometimes he is unable to clearly explain or understand what problem he would like to get rid of. If he says he doesn’t want to go to school because his stomach hurts, try explaining it to him by example. For example, “You know, my stomach sometimes hurts, too, when I’m worried about being late. But if I find a way to solve the problem, my stomach usually stops hurting. What’s bothering you?” This way, you can get a better idea of what’s bothering your child: he might be worried about being mistreated in class. Or he’s afraid something scary is going to happen to him.
Something like what he saw on TV. If he can’t say what’s wrong, try talking to his teacher.
Once the cause is clear, discuss the problem and how to fix it with the teacher or school counselor. Especially if the child is being bullied or intimidated in class. Sometimes a little more attention from the teacher can do wonders for your child. For example, reading or talking to a student if he comes to school early. It will help the psychological health of the child. A student’s education is highly influenced by his or her emotional well-being. Keeping an angel mascot or family picture in the child’s school pencil case or locker can also help.
Fix the bigger problems
If you constantly notice that your child behaves unusually you need to seek help from a psychologist for child anxiety. For example, on the way to school your child is crying non-stop. Or he shows other signs of anxiety. It can be nightmares or a fear of being alone.
Such problems happen to many children. Often, moms read a forum where other parents discuss their children’s learning problems. Sometimes they find good advice there, not only about their children’s behavior, but also about their academic performance.
My acquaintance realized that something was wrong with her daughter when she was in first grade. She was anxious, afraid to say or do the wrong thing. But still, she was coping with the problem, thanks to the help of her teacher. But when she went to first grade, her anxiety got worse. Every time at breakfast, the girl would purposely try to pour hot tea on herself, hoping that she would not have to go to school because of her soiled and wet clothes. After a year of sessions with a psychologist, the girl had noticeable progress and made much progress in school.
Don’t forget that each new step is an important step in the child’s life. Often even a step back can be accompanied by a leap in development. Encourage your child. Tell him, “You may be a little scared, but you can handle it!” Knowing that you can overcome challenges is probably one of the most important lessons a child learns in or out of school.